sur ma liste aujourd’hui

he may have been lost, but all i could think was: "i want your hat."

i’ve decided to make lists.  i love writing out lists of endless amounts of crap i need to do, but i rarely actually do anything from my lists.  but i enjoy them all the same.

i’ve never really explained why i love paris so much.  since i was maybe eight or nine i dreamed of seeing the eiffel tower in person.  i must have seen its daunting beauty on tv or in a newspaper or something, but whatever it was, it lit a fire under me and for the next 10 years my dream lived on.  i went in high school as a 16 year old french student and took the typical tourist trip.  we hit all the important eglise, cathedrals, museums, monuments, castles, and quaint country towns.  the south of france was nice, but paris remains my true love.  so, while attending de asia, i signed up for a study abroad program that would set me up in an apartment (avec a roommate) and i would attend classes at a little extension school.  since i couldn’t legally drink back home yet, i basically stayed at least half drunk for two months straight.  i also started smoking a pack a day of marlboro reds to help me assimilate.  it worked.  i met some amazing people that i still think about, wondering what’s going on in their lives now that nearly four years has passed since i walked the cobblestoned streets, licking nutella from my chin and trying to absorb as much culture as possible.  it was so wonderful, i didn’t have to work for the first time in six years, and i could devote my energy to school and blending into the french crowd of which i so wanted to be a part of.  but april turned into may and may became june and i had to board a plane back to california.  while i still have so many memories from my time there, i’m no longer in contact with any of the people from the memories.  i miss ross and vered who proved to be awesome friends, with whom i shared so many bouts of laughter and with whom i sobbed tearful goodbyes into their shoulders, and they into mine.  i tried to keep in touch, but the circumstances just wouldn’t allow it.  vered moved to hollywood to be an actress and ross left for san fran to live with his girlfriend.  and sometimes i allow my thoughts to drift to one more person who left such a great impact on my soul.  but, like i said, i left paris to return to my home in san jose (northern california is a fantastic place to live, too, so i have been exceedingly lucky) and he stayed behind in his home.  i used to hope he would show up on my doorstep announcing plans to stay and live here, but that childish desire flitted away like a delicate butterfly.  i came home and shawn (aka the boyfriend) presented himself and for the first time in my life i found myself able to accept kindness and affection from a boy.  the boy i left behind did this for me without ever knowing it; he made it possible for me to love again.

**sigh**

life happens when you’re busy doing something else, or however the saying goes.  well, that explanation may seem cryptic, but i assure you there will be more paris stories over time– i’ve got a million of ’em.

ok, now the list of shit i will never do of things to do this week:

1. scale mount laundry and actually fold the shirts and whatnot right after so i don’t have to iron (ehh i hate ironing!)
2. purchase textbooks for this semester
3. take charlie for a walk qd
4. learn to add music to this blog
5. write in blog qd
6. drink more water and eat less without picking up smoking again
7. cut back on various vices (the boyfriend knows)
8. make valentine’s reservations at loony boon or boony loon or whatever that winery is called (merci ash & j.c. for the generous gift certificate) for wine tasting and food pairing, very chi-chi.
9. wash face q night hs (hs=at bedtime in pharmacy speak)
10. send two month late payment to capital one, transfer $$ to visa so they stop calling me
11. re-order checks from wells fargo so i can pay aforementioned bills
12. remember to save $$ q week for tuition in august (goal: $3000)
13. schedule charlie for vet visit
14. go to audiobook store all ears in saratoga for new books. (just finished all 7 harry potters, all of david sedaris they had, memoirs of a geisha, and the giver) next i want the time traveler’s wife and maybe something by christopher moore.
15. be nicer, be more gentle, and be a better listener.